Newsflash!
“Listening has today been added to the Endangered Species List”
There is an increasingly critical shortage of real listening in our society! In the fast paced, emotionally laden, reactive world that we live in, the art of listening is in increasing peril of extinction.
The steady and persistent pace of “change”, coupled with the growth and our increased dependence on new technologies, are taking their toll on our ability to focus intently on what is being said. Then there is the literal onslaught of information, coming at us from every direction and in unprecedented volumes. These factors are serving to impair the effectiveness of two way communication.
So much is running through our minds, that in the simplest of conversations, we find our thinking cluttered with the noise of upcoming meetings and pressing/overdue “to do’s”. So time pressed are we that when the others speak, the little man in our head is busy formulating our rebuttal, instead of honoring and building on the opinions being expressed.
A few facts:
1) In the 1980’s, studies conducted confirmed that leaders understood some 60% -75% of the work performed by their direct reports. They were expected to have all the answers. What is it today? Well it’s between 15% -25%. Fundamentally there is a lot more information out there and it is available to everyone. Broadened spans of control and flattened organizations have made the task of staying on top of all the information much more daunting.
2) If you look at how a work day plays out proportionately, time is spent as follows:
- Listening 45%
- Speaking 30%
- Reading 16%
- Writing 9%
Ask yourself how much education and training you’ve had in Writing? … well it’s years worth, since and throughout primary and secondary schools.
Reading
? Ditto. Speaking, well most have received some training on what you do in front of an audience. How much training, how many courses have you been on, on Listening? Did any hands go up?
3) More people to manage, with just as much, if not more responsibility, is the mantra of the day. It’s not like the problems and required solutions are getting any easier. It makes sense that we need to be more collaborative and to do so means to seek out and listen to the input of others. But how are we doing at listening? The reality – you can’t ask good questions, if you’re not really listening! How can you make good decisions if the questions you ask don’t arm you with facts about the real issues?
4) People who are listened to feel valued. People who are valued, thrive! No “yeah buts” here, acknowledge what they say and build on it.
So what are we to do to stave off the current impairment and potential extinction of this key skill of listening?
Ø Remove the distractions. Be present, … be completely with others. Quiet the thinking or rebuttal of that little man in your head.
Ø Listen contextually. Not just to what is being said, but to the tone, to the body language, to the emotion. It’s often what is not being said that carries the real meaning.
Ø Use silence. Give space to the person speaking. Give them time to formulate their thoughts and replies. As you listen deeply and provide such space, use silence for yourself. Pause when the other finishes talking. Take a moment and think about what you will say next.
Ø Ask and listen for what really matters to those you speak with. This will bring out their values and the true meaning of what they believe. Build on vs. debate what they say. Acknowledge their contribution.
Do your part to help save Listening from extinction.
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